Ridiculous surfing inventions: The Firewire 'Deviant' fin
The fact that Firewire, who are constantly blowing their horn about their supposed technological expertise in the realm of surfboards actually promote this rubbish without dying of embarrassment and shame proves that they are really dunces. It seems that their intelligence level plummeted when Bert Burger left.Anyway here's the fin, with the performance claim " The DEVIANT automatically adjusts 7 degrees of cant in either direction (14 degrees total range of movement) and noticeably increases speed and responsiveness by reducing rear fin drag, loosening the tail, and shortening the turn radius of a thruster fin set up: your board will feel more maneuverable."As can be seen from the photo the fin has a huge drag inducing unfoiled barrel shaped blob at the base, the effect of which will be rather like towing a small bucket. . . not exactly a way of reducing drag. The manufacturers make a vain attempt to assure us that the fact the the structure at the fin base houses a hinge mechanism which allows the fin to flop from side to side will create such a reduction in drag that it will easily overcome the drag from the blob itself. Now we know that the surf industry could sell used car engines as useful surfboards to their gullible and endlessly loyal surfing victims, so no doubt this one will be accepted via the usual 'Emperors New Clothes' syndrome demanded by the parrotmasters, but they will be going more slowly as a result.Hinges on surfboards are a Victorian concept at best, but if one is going to use them, at least have the hydrodynamic decency to hide them inside the board out of the water flow, rather than leavingthem right smack in the way simply because the fin has to fit standard industry fin tabs !This sort of Bullshit invention simply could not occur in a corporation which had more than a single brain cell to share amongst the product development staff, particularly when one realises how much money and time has been invested to get it to the mass production stage. Amazingly, no one pointed out the fatal bucket at the fin base. Of course the Firewire marketing department has plenty of brain power, no doubt employing teams of psychologists who simultaneously induce the necessary feelings of inadequacy . . . .. and the amazing yet un-amazing cure.For us it is reassuring to realise that Firewire are just as stupid as we thought they were.By the way the most efficient fin to surfboard junction is a fillet of 2mm to 5mm diameter, not a toy train.As for the fin flopping from side to side. . . go for it boys, but the movement is in the wrong plane in our opinion...,PS Perhaps the fin's artwork is an allusion to an attempt to find the elusive North West passage, or possibly it is a nautical version of a Ptolemaic armillary sphere segment salvaged from a sunken wreck . . . either way it's the icing on the dung cake.PPS Regarding the speed claim, Firewire should just wind the speed up on the videos the way they always do, except add about 20% more than usual, that should make up for the speed loss due to the fin drag. Perhaps also some talk of a mysterious 'Sixth gear' with a tiny gearstick on the fin tip ? . . . but what do I know about marketing? I'm just a truth fetishist.
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Firewire stupid,
stupid deviant fin